Sunday, December 8, 2013

A wounded warrior.. down but not dead

On 6th of December, morning was deary. Another all-nighter, some alcohol (despite my own misgiving) and a hangover. I knew that I had low Blood Pressure and too much alcohol tends to mess up my system (despite mastering its usage in Delhi 2011); yet I went ahead and guzzled some alcohol. 

Morning it was different. I knew about the hangover and I was cursing myself for breaking my rule of drinking water. Ah well! I went home and tried to snooze but an uncomfortable feeling refused to let go. I was wondering... the hell I had been drunk and shit-faced before but never had this feeling. Then around midday my chest started paining and I started panicking. I quickly brought out the blood pressure measuring machine and took a check. I was shocked to see that the results read as 113/97 : 100 (normal being: 85/65: 80 pulse rate). I was thinking, "Great! Now am gonna be hospitalized."

A round with the doctor and few tests showed that it's just a temporary thing caused by STRESS. Doctor told me matter of factly tone while i recalled that for more than 2 months I had been slogging over a major transaction and for more than 1 year I had been slogging to keep myself ahead of my matter list. It was inevitable. As would Merovingian aka The Frenchman (ignorant people see The Matrix Trilogy), would say "cause and effect" (The principle of Causality).

I realized something that day. My personality is molded by my physical body. Its like those unbreakable Nokia phones. Even under pressure, duress and rough use; it works. To sustain my mind I had neglected by physical container. My physical container in order to support my goals relentlessly suffered abuse. Now after a long time, it pleaded to take breather but I have resolved that my body, my physical container, will not only get a breather but I will train it to be stronger. It will face many trials in the days to come and in my pursuit towards my goal, my dreams a broken container will not suffice nor will I discard it. I fully understand my wrong-doing towards my body and will repair it. Give it the necessary stamina and power and it will not be like those beefed up buffoons on steroids. 

I have looked and researched that I am heading into an illness called "tachycardia". I will limit my alcohol intake and eat better food. I will work smarter than harder to reach my goal by using tactical precision. I have always been a fanatic to war strategies and in this personal war, I will create a strategy befitting my requirements. Many might think that I am saying all this to assuage my feelings but I have arrived to this conclusion when I visited the doctor. I have so many things to do, so many places to go, a special girl to woo, promises to be kept and above all not to leave my family and friends. So many quests, so many adventures and I  cannot give up here. Since I cannot give up here the choice is simple: fight. To fight I must rest, recuperate, eat, work out and do all necessary things so as to win. This is my iron will.... and my will surpasses all.